live & love, bland annat.

Every once in a while, somebody asks me or I ask myself what I would do today if I were to die tomorrow. This is really an interesting question and now that I think about it again, I would have to say that there isn't a specific plan or schedule full of things I have to do on the day before I die. Rather, there would be a checklist of goals that I would want to have completed and a separate checklist of things I want to be at least in the process of doing. I think the lists would look something like this:

Things do make sure to complete before I die:

• Make sure everyone you know knows that you love them.
• Make sure you eat/drink as much of whatever you feel like eating/drinking.
  
• Make sure you listen to whatever music you want to listen to as loud as you want it.
• Spend some time with people. What people? Those that are nearest and dearest.
  
• Spend some time alone.
• Spend some time with the Bible and God.

Things to at least be working on before I die:

• Sharing my thoughts and insights.
• Sharing my love.

Yup, so that's it. Well, I mean sure --- there are also some very specific things I would like to do. These are things like:

• Go to a furniture store when you're really tired (probably after lunch) and take a nap on the sofa/recliner that you didn't have time to take a nap on before.

Well, that's all I can think of right now, but I'll add more when I think of them.

On another note, there is something else I want to take up right now. It's the concept of "love." I've always had a problem with this word and I say it almost never because it is such a commercialized, self-reciprocating word that has a different meaning depending on the context, tone, who it is coming from, and why it is said in the first place. I don't like saying the word, but people who are without "love" in the sense of having love in their own hearts for themselves and the people around them... are just empty. I don't want to be empty, therefore I feel like I need to redefine it for myself, because like it says on the first item on my list, I need to make sure everyone I know knows that I love them.

This is how it is: My life is a life of learning and I will always be a student, whether in a real school, or just in the school of life (as cheesy as that sounds). If I have ever met you or known you, you have added a perspective to my life that I would not have had otherwise. Whether I liked you or disliked you plays no role because this is really just a matter of whether I liked or disliked the things you did and the way you acted. This has no bearing on the way I feel about you as a person and lucky for you, I love you. I want you to know that I love you -- any & every one of you that I have ever known.

Now, as long as I eat/drink what I want, listen to whatever music I want, and make sure to spend some time alone, with the Bible, and with people everyday... I can die happily. Not that I'm planning on dying anytime soon, but now I can live like most people only wish they could live -- like today was my last.